Posted on January 25, 2020
In 2009, I lost my Dad, the moment that sit on the first place for my most devastating moment in the life. The second place was when I had been rejected by my first love, followed by losing my cat in the third place. At that time, I was clueless, I had never experienced this kind of sadness –losing someone that I love, a real one, because I cannot see him again, forever.
But the real pain was not that, since I am the only child, the situation when I saw my mom crying after losing her true love, really really broke my heart into pieces. To make it worse, it happened a week after Mom’s 40ish birthday.
Since 2003, I had a long distance relationship with Mom and Dad, because I was accepted in a college in Jakarta, while they decided to live happily in a beautiful place, called Ungaran. Six years later, or three years after I worked in Jakarta, this tragedy happened. My world crumbled in a second after receiving a phone call in one fine night, or it was a one fine night (I just came back from my girlfriend’s house) before the call.
“You have to come to Ungaran.” My neighbour who never communicate with me before, phoned me. You know, a phonecall in the night from your relatives was never be a good news. It was either a bad news, or very very bad news. “Something happened with your father. He was taken to a hospital this night.”.
“Rif?” It was a long silence before I continued to talk. “Are you okay?”
“Is he still alive?” I asked, but he did not answer me properly.
“You will meet him tomorrow, the most important thing is, you have to come home as soon as possible.” After that phonecall, with the help of my girlfriend’s relative, I booked the earliest flight to Semarang, and in the middle of my journey to the airport, many conversations entered my Blackberry, “RIP for your father, deep condolences.”. As a geek, I really hated technology at that time.
I spent two weeks in Ungaran after that moment, making sure that Mom was alright after losing Dad. Sometimes in the night I heard her crying, sometimes I did my own cry, and sometimes we were crying together, in harmony. I wish that I could make a duo with Mom at that time with the name of Loneliness Crying Squad (and sure you can name many better duo than us), but we realised that maybe, yeah maybe, God had a bigger and better plan for us.
As time passed, I realised that people are not dead, they just transformed from reality, to a memory.